Right? Left? Up? Down? Face forward? Turn around? Where am I going!?! What in the world is going on!?! Ahhhhhhhh!!!

I haven’t really blogged in about a month. There is so much to tell. That’s what I get for procrastinating. I know, I know. My apologies. ;)

Well, since my last official blog my levels finally reached 0. They were at 3 when I went back in on March 8^th. PTL!!! Finally some good news & a chance to move forward!

When they finally were low enough I went in to meet with Dr. Mauck. He told me that everything looked good, that he didn’t think it was necessary for me to have the surgery to go in & look at everything to make sure my tubes were not clogged & that my uterus looked ok, he said that he would like to run the recurrent miscarriage blood panel, & told Jordan & I to go ahead & start trying again.

I was a little hesitant to take the blood panel b/c it was $2800 procedure. However, when I called my insurance they said that they would cover 100%. What a huge relief! So of course with 100% coverage there was no reason not to do it.

The following Thursday I went in for the panel. They drew 7 vials of blood and told me they’d call me as my results came in. The next Monday they called to tell me that 3 of my tests came back; 2 of which had great results & 1 that wasn’t horrible, but not great. First they told me I didn’t have Lupus, then they told me I didn’t have the main blood clotting gene; both of these huge results had me so giddy I didn’t care about the negative result. The other test was that I have a mutated gene that makes it hard for my body to absorb folic acid. That wasn’t a huge surprise to me with my Spina Bifida. So, they increased my folic acid dosage to 4mg a day which is about 100x more than a normal woman TTC would take. The hope is that at least a 1/3 of what I take my body will allow for absorption. Test results were still coming in, but so far they were good. No complaints.

Last week the nurse called to go over some more results. Most of the tests looked great, but there was one that brought some concern to them. She let me know that I had a gene that indicated that I had a blood disease creating blood clotting. Disease!?! What!?! Are you kidding me!?! My heart sake & my mind was immediately confused. Didn’t they just tell me last week that I didn’t have the blood clotting disease.

She let me know there wasn’t much information she could give me at this time that I needed to see my family doctor. I saw Dr. Howe last Friday & he explained as much as he could to me, but basically let me know that he’s never seen a result like mine & wanted me to visit a Hematologist.

I went to the Hematologist on Tuesday where he thoroughly explained to me the blood disease that I have. Basically I have gotten one gene from each parent creating a Homozygous

genetic disorder. This blood disease allows my heart to build up plague more easily than most and it allows my blood to clot more easily than most. The 2 issues together making me at a high risk for heart disease & heart attacks. What this means for the rest of my life is just making sure I take good care of myself, maintain a healthy diet, a healthy lifestyle, & paying close attention to my heart. They put me on a baby aspirin regimen. I will take that for the rest of my life as long as things within my heart don’t get any worse.

I ended up letting the hematologist know of some recent heart pain so they immediately sent me to have a CT scan done where they found that everything looked just fine. He said that my pain was probably stressed induced & just asked that I try to relax more often. HA! ;)

So, what does all this mean for my ability to get pregnant and have a healthy pregnancy. Well as soon as I get pregnant I will be put on blood thinners and we’ll just trust in the Lord that everything will work out & I’ll carry a baby to full term. J

I will say this week was definitely hard. Sitting in the hematologists’ office after learning more about the fact I have a blood disease was a very hard moment. I wanted to give up. I thought to myself “Lord, you say that you won’t give us more than we can handle, but don’t you think you’ve given me enough to deal with?” Spina Bifida & all of it’s lovely conditions, pregnancy issues, & now a blood disease. Really? Are you kidding me? I definitely hit a low spot & a spot of pure sadness. It didn’t last long though.

It’s still hard to think about; to know that I live with more disabilities & disease than most, but then I realize that I count it an honor to be given such hardships b/c God knows that I love Him so much that even through all of this “junk” I will still give Him praise & honor & glory….as much as I wanted to give up on Tuesday; I could never give up on Him. He’s been too good to me & given me so much to live for. How could I forsake the God who gives me all the blessings He has.

So…as I continue to grasp the recent turns my life has made; I will continue to remind all of you that follow my blog that no matter what happens in my life I will continue to shine for Him b/c He is that amazing & if you don’t know Him in such a way that allows you to praise Him in the hardest times of your life I challenge you to get to know Him better. He will give you the most incredible amounts of joy especially on the days when all you think you can do is cry.

It’s not easy….I know it won’t be for awhile….and that’s ok.

I choose to love Him & thank Him even for these moments of heartache, confusion, and sadness.

Jordan & I will keep trucking allowing praying for His strength & guidance as we face each new trial. Please be praying for us as well.

We love you all!